


It Started With Coffee (Bucky Barnes)

by sal20nini



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Nick Fury's Howling Commandos
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War (Marvel), Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One Compliant, Marvel Universe, POV Female Character, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25801639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal20nini/pseuds/sal20nini
Summary: Y/N is a foreign exchange student from the USA. She bumps into a 'stranger' at a local coffee shop when she's looking for her early morning caffeine booster but ends up finding something more!
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**_ Bucharest, Romania, 2016 _ **

**__**

* * *

After grabbing my hot cup of java I turned around way too quickly and rammed into someone, spilling their coffee and dropping their belongings.

_Classic Me._

I immediately helped pick up their fallen journal, photos and wallet while a string of apologies raced out of my mouth.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention, please let me buy you anoth-"

I shut up when I saw the person standing before me... a strong, muscular man with long, silky, dark brown hair. His eyes were blue like the ocean and somehow just as mysterious. I realized I was shamelessly staring at him only when he looked away uncomfortably. I mentally cursed myself.

"Uh, what was your order?" I say after recovering my vocabulary.

"It's fine, honestly." His voice was even better than I had imagined, gentle but deep and masculine.

"I insist, please!" I begged, making the best puppy eyes I could manage.

"Okay", he chirped cracking a small smile. I couldn't help but mirror it. His smile was contagious.

I placed the order as he made his way to the stools by the shop window that overlooked a street. The stools were right next to the door and for a second I thought he was going to bail on me. I let out a sigh of relief when he sat at the stool instead. I took a seat on the stool next to him and handed him his coffee. I was rewarded with a small smile.

"I'm Y/N, by the way", I extended my free left hand. He waited for a second with a confused look on his face.

"I'm...I'm Bucky", he said in a low voice. His hands were stuck to his coffee cup.

_'Maybe he's just shy'_ , I thought as I awkwardly dropped my hand, _'maybe I'm just too upfront for Romanians? No wonder I haven't made any friends yet.'_

I ordered my brain to stop my internal monologue.

I noticed that his shoulders were tensed up as if he was contemplating running out of the damn coffee shop.

"Umm, I'm sorry about earlier and I don't want to force you into having coffee with me. I completely unders-"

"Oh No! No! I don't mind," he grinned and his form relaxed a little.

"Well, then I'm glad," I laughed

"So are you from around here?"

"No, I'm actually an exchange student from the States." I could have been wrong but I swear I saw his smile widen and his eyes light up.

"Hey, earlier when I was helping you pick up your stuff, I couldn't help but see the pictures. The Smithsonian if I'm guessing correctly?"

His frame tensed up again, his eyes searched mine with suspicion. _Had I said something wrong?_

"Um yes, yes they are. Why do you ask?", he leaned a little, his right hand touching his ankle.

_'Maybe his ankle is itching,'_ I thought to myself.

I let out a nervous chuckle. "I have a confession," I raised my hands like a criminal surrendering. The man was silent. His right hand still around his ankle. "I am a huge nerd!"

Weirdly, the man visibly relaxed at that statement.

"I absolutely love the Smithsonian Museum, I literally grew up listening to stories about the war and that place just brings it all to life, especially the Howli-"

That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks, this, this man was Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes. Captain America's childhood friend, Bucky Barnes who by the way was not supposed to be here because he was freaking dead! If not dead then at least really really not alive! Whoever this man was, he was neither of those things. To the contrary, he was very much alive and handsome as hell.

"Sgt. Barnes..." I whispered so quietly that it was a wonder that even I had heard it. Expressions of horror, shock and complete disbelief were plastered on my face. It felt like my whole body was freezing up.

Buck.. this man was startled.

"You know me?", he asked with so much sincerity that it took everything in me to just ignore him and stand up.

"I-I have to leave," I made a dash for the door.

"Wait!" I heard him call after me. I broke into a sprint.

"Please! Wait! I need help" His voice was closer than it had been before.

Suddenly I was dragged into an alleyway. My hand was clasped by something hard and metallic.

"LET ME GO!", I yelled in protest trying to free my hand. I try to kick my way out of his grip but it's of no use.

He pulled me in front of him, pressing me against the brick wall of the alleyway. His face was inches away from mine. If I was not so damn terrified I would have definitely been turned on.

"What are you?" The words tumbled out of my mouth before I even had a chance to think them over.

"I-I don't know!" He groaned and punched the wall. His left fist landed way too close to my ear for my liking. The brick crumbled off at the contact point where a huge crack had appeared.

I was shaking now. I was so petrified that I felt like I was going to pass out right there in the alleyway. His hands gently shook my shoulders. I flinched away from his touch.

"I-I'm not going to hurt you, I swear. I'm lost, y/n. I don't know who I am anymore .... I need your help", his eyes... the hurt and misery in them made my heart physically ache for this man. The man who I was running away from just seconds ago.

_'Or it's physically aching because I'm actually having a heart attack after all that running I just did,'_ I thought.

I just nodded in reply.

"Thank you!" He engulfed me into a hug. I couldn't help but smile. He awkwardly pulled back. It was clear that he didn't usually show gratitude like this.

"Follow me", he...Bucky said. "I promise I'll do you no harm," he added when I refused to move. He smiled this little reassuring smile where his lips curled up at the ends.

"Other than cutting my heart into a trillion pieces...", I muttered under my breath when he turned around.

"Did you say something?" he looked over his shoulder.

"Um, nothing. I'm coming," I followed closely behind him as we weaved our way through the streets of Romania.

_This was going to be interesting..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N follows Bucky Barnes to his flat in Bucharest, Romania to find another surprise lurking in the shadows.

_ Romania, 2016 _

_ _

* * *

The flat was dimly lit. It was fairly empty, filled with mostly just the essential furniture. There was a small couch and a table, a sleeping bag was spread out on a mattress, a few plates, a cup and a bowl were lying on the kitchen counter. On one of the tables, I spotted a bowl full of plums.

"You sure do like plums," I smirked.

"You could say that, here, read this," He handed me a journal.

I cleared my throat and read out aloud. "Plums are full of antioxidants. The University of Harvard Health suggests that antioxidants may be able to slow the development of Alzheimer's and other cognitive diseases. Plums also contain anthocyanin and quercetin, beneficial for preventing brain-cell breakdown." 

I was speechless. He was so desperate to get his memories back that he was willing to try anything and everything.

"I-I found it in a health magazine at the market one day, " he added awkwardly to fill the silence.

I couldn't help but sympathize with him. I would be shattered, lonely and constantly depressed if I had to go through each day as he did. Just imagine looking into the mirror each day, not knowing if that person staring back at you was truly you.

"Uh-um, this is the all the information I have managed to gather till now," He flipped the pages of the journal to reveal notes handwritten in cursive.

"Most of it is from the Smithsonian, do you have anything else that you can tell me?" His eyes searched mine desperately.

"This is all I know too, Bucky"

He looked down in disappointment.

"I know that you are-um, were Sgt. James Bunchman Barnes of the 107th. you were captured by the Nazis at one point but were saved by Captain America. Then you became a part of the howling Commandos and you fell off a train during your mission. You are supposed to be dead Bucky, even if you somehow managed to survive that fall. So enlighten me, what happened after that fall Bucky?"

To my absolute astonishment, Bucky removed his shirt in one swift motion.

"This happened."

"Wow! you have a metal arm?!"

Under different circumstances, if I had met a hot guy at a coffee shop who took me home and then proceeded to reveal his toned top half, I'd have a lot of other things to say, possibly with sound effects. But everything was complicated right now. For starters, the said guy happened to be a hundred-something-year-old World War Two soldier. Secondly, the said toned top half, though completely pleasing to the eyes, came equipped with a metal arm that wasn't particularly hard to miss.

I was well aware that my reaction had surprised Bucky and there was a possibility that I had creeped him out by ogling at him. Seriously though, wasn't a hundred years enough time to make him realize that it was very, very difficult to keep your eyes off him.

Anyway... Bucky proceeded to tell me a rather gruesome origin story of the metal arm and suddenly having a metal arm was not worth all of its cool points. Bucky or the Winter Soldier as he was now apparently known as was looking at me intently after finishing his anecdote.

"I'm so very sorry you had to go through that, I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy." I managed to mumble loud enough for him to hear. I got up to get a glass of water.

Bucky was on his feet immediately. He ran to block the front door.

"I-I just wanted some water, I wasn't planning on running away" I smiled to ease out the tension a little bit.

"Oh, uh let me get it for you" His cheeks were tinted red as he walked past me.

Embarrassed Winter Soldier? Now that had to be a first.

I sat across Bucky Barnes with a glass full of water clenched in my hands. I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every move. Only one question raced through my mind, "why haven't you aged?"

"The same reason why Captain America hasn't"

"Wait, so you're saying they don't just keep changing the man in the suit? So he's still Steve, _your_ Steve?" 

Bucky simply nodded in response. He looked so vulnerable right now I had this sudden urge to just scoop him up and tell him it'll all be alright.

"Have you tried contacting him? He can help you! All your memories they seem to be anchored around him. He could trigger something..."

"NO!" He protested loudly, standing up in the process.

I flinched when he cut me off suddenly.

He shuts his eyes, steadying his breath. "It's too dangerous. I'm too dangerous," his voice was deeper, void of any emotion. "This was all a bad idea. I should've never told you about me. I shouldn't have dragged you into this mess." He ran his hand through his hair in annoyance.

"No, no, no, no. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to help you ok?" I moved towards him. 

"Why? I have blood on my hands. You don't know the number of people I have killed. Some were my friends! They were innocent, and I killed them, in cold blood."

"That wasn't you Bucky! You have a good heart otherwise you would have never tried to get your old life back and you wouldn't have felt remorse for something you didn't even do!" I was standing right in front of him now, close enough to see the warmth and kindness hidden in the blue of his eyes.

"And I want you to know is that no matter what, I'm with you till the end of the line" I heard him inhale sharply, there was a twinkle in his eye again but he sighed and looked away.

I couldn't help but think that I managed to upset him somehow...again. I felt horrible. I didn't want to ruin things further so I kept quiet and waited for him to say something, anything.

"I don't think I'm worth all this, Y/N" he sighed. He was standing against the kitchen table with his back towards me.

"That's ridiculous..."

"Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing here, in Romania." He turned around suddenly, rattling the plates on the kitchen table. "I tell myself that I'm hiding from them but I know that in reality, I'm just hiding from myself, from Steve. I-I can't hurt him again, Y/N, I can't"

His voice cracked like he was about to break down. I held his arm, patting his back gently. "You're not going to hurt anybody, Bucky, you aren't that person anymore. We'll fight this together, okay? You and me. We'll put you back together, one piece at a time." I smiled reassuringly and for the first time in what seemed like ages, I was rewarded with a toothy grin. It looked genuine and that right there was the highlight of my rather eventful day.

"Let's get to work, soldier! We've got lots to do" I playfully pulled him forward.

I sat on the sofa with my laptop on my lap, Bucky was sitting right next to me. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he peered at the screen from behind me. We spent hours surfing the internet for any old war files that might have landed up there. Anything that might help. The search was slow and I took some time to teach his antique self about the wonders of the 21st century. I was shocked by his interest in technology. Seriously, he looked like a kid in wonderland.

"I went to a Science Fair once, back in the 1940s, I guess, with....with Steve"

"Bucky, that's good do you remember anything else from that day?"

"There was a-a man, Howard Stark, he was talking about a flying car..."

"Howard Stark?" I asked as I typed.

"It says here that Howard Stark and his wife were killed in a car accident in December 1991"

"It-It wasn't an accident. I remember"

I looked up at him confused.

"I-I killed him." His head hung in shame. His metal hand was balled up into a fist by his side. His teeth raked down on his bottom lip.

"Bucky...."

"He helped us during the war.. he-he made Steve's shield..."

Even though this was clearly difficult for him, he was at least remembering bits and pieces of his past life now. But, I was afraid that the guilt he feels would take over him if he remembered everything.

"Bucky, I think we should stop thi-"

Before I could finish, the doorknob jiggled and somebody kicked open the door. Bucky was on his feet immediately, pushing me behind the sofa. I couldn't see a thing with my hands over my head.

"Steve?" I heard Bucky say. "What are you doing here?"

I had to be careful not to make a noise but my mind was working in over-drive. _Captain America was here?! What is going on? What is he going to do?_

_Most importantly, can he be trusted?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thing about plums is true! Google it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the best fight scenes in the MCU re-imagined with Y/N in it.

_Romania, 2016_

__

* * *

"We need to talk" I heard something that sounded like the soft rustling of paper.

"It wasn't me, I don't do that anymore," Bucky said almost immediately.

"I know that Buck but they aren't buying it. Everyone is convinced it was you" The annoyance in Steve's voice was as clear as daylight.

I couldn't keep hiding behind this damn couch forever. If Bucky was in some sort of trouble I had to help out! "They have to believe it! He has an alibi, he was with me" I said as calmly as I could when I emerged from behind the couch. I saw Bucky tense up as Steve readied his shield.

"Who the hell are you?" Steve seemed rather annoyed.

"But...but the attack happened yesterday and we met this morning..." Bucky mumbled.

"We know that, but they don't" I smiled, "I'm Y/N by the way, honoured to meet you Captain" I extended my hand to shake his.

"YOU MET HER THIS MORNING!" Steve was fuming as he shouted at Bucky completely ignoring me.

Rude.

"She could be a damn spy, Buck!" he added in a soft voice.

"She isn't Steve I've checked!"

"You've checked?!" Both, Steve and I gave him a questioning look.

Bucky's cheeks brightened and he sighed, "oh, come on, Steve trust me!"

"I trust you alright, it's her I don't trust " He gave me a dirty look like I was a disgusting sewer rat.

Seriously! This is the man I grew up hearing so much about?

"Listen, Cap, we probably got off on the wrong footing but I'm on your side, alright! For God's sake, you were in my bedtime stories...." That last bit sounded a lot better in my head. "...ugh as in your war stories, you know what I mean"

"Can everyone for once stop reminding me of my age!" Steve sighed jokingly, making Bucky and I chuckle.

Bucky's laugh was genuine and it was probably the best sound I had ever heard. Too bad it didn't last for long as the front door burst open and guns were fired right in our direction.

I shrieked just as any normal human would be expected to when faced with humongous guns and hefty gunmen. My face was suddenly slammed against the floor. The cold touch of his metal arm sent a shiver down my spine.

"Stay low" his voice was low and hoarse. He dragged me in front and pushed me forward as we tried to run out of the back door. I was pretty sure there were gunmen waiting for us there too but I didn't question him. He had probably thought it through, at least I hope he had, for both of our sakes.

Just then there was a second round of gunfire. Bucky immediately shielded me with his own body, careful not to crush me under his weight. It amazed me how quick his reflexes were. To be honest, if it weren't for me they would have escaped a whole lot faster.

Bucky's lack of concern for his own safety was very alarming, to say the least. If this continued I was pretty sure I would have been the reason for his stupid heart to stop beating in a completely non-romantic way.

Cap and I probably had the same train of thought because he was standing right in front of us shield in hand. "Go! Go! Go!" He yelled.

Bucky nodded and ran for the back door. He pulled me forward so that I faced the other way, his arm was secured around me as his back pushed against the door.

Almost immediately shots were fired. I heard the bullets clang against his metal arm. It was a miracle they were whizzing past us.

Bucky must have been used to carrying heavy weights because I was absolutely positive I couldn't be grouped into the featherweight category.

I clung onto him as he raced up a metal ladder.

"Stay here" he huffed and put me down behind a concrete pillar.

It would've been a great hiding spot if we weren't on a terrace. Exposed on all sides and nothing but a ten storey fall as an escape route.

I nodded anyway and he rushed behind to fight off those annoying gunmen who had been following us. One of them somehow managed to sneak up on him from the side. Bucky was already preoccupied and I didn't think he had noticed. Calling him out would have only distracted him.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I gathered all my strength to nail a perfect roundhouse kick on the attacker's neck. The element of surprise worked in my favour and he tumbled down the terrace thanks to the injured medulla oblongata.

I earned a quick questioning sideways glance from Bucky.

"What? My Dad made me take self-defence before I moved here" I shrugged.

I heard him chuckle faintly as he disarmed another attacker.

Just when I thought that we could probably make it out of here alive, I saw someone in a black suit make his way towards us.

By black suit, I didn't mean the one that you'd probably wear to a wedding. This is something you'd wear at Halloween or Comic-Con maybe. Judging by the looks of it, it could've been Catwoman if:

  * (a) he wasn't definitely a man, and
  * (b) this was DC



"Bucky....", I tried not to sound too scared but I was petrified.

"Run!" He shouted when he followed my gaze.

He didn't need to tell me twice. I ran as fast as I could, only to reach the other end of the terrace. If I hadn't stopped any sooner I would have fallen off of this presumably ten-storey building.

I resorted to hiding since I had none of that super soldier serum running through my veins.

From where I was hiding I could clearly see Mr. Kitty Cat and Bucky fighting. Bucky punched him hard in the gut but it failed to knock him out.

The other guy kicked Bucky off and pounced on him like a panther pouncing on his prey. His metal claws threatened to tear Bucky's flesh apart.

Metal clanged against metal when Bucky used his arm to fend off the attack.

I needed to get Mr.Kitty Cat's grubby paws off my man.

"Hey! Mr.Kitty" I shouted.

That surely got his attention alright but I wasn't sure I knew what I was doing. I looked around and grabbed a piece of metal and threw it in his direction. It was enough of a distraction to allow Bucky to roll away. Bucky swerved to the side narrowly escaping the projectile.

"Sorry" I squeaked.

Sadly the metal piece didn't hit my target. Actually, it was way off and now I had a very angry kitty headed my way.

"Good Kitty" I muttered, standing my ground.

"Look Miss I have nothing against you. It is best you stay away or I will have no choice but to hurt you"

That suit must have been hella claustrophobic was all I could think of. And that my friends, was probably the reason I was no good at fights.

"YOU WILL NOT", Bucky yelled grabbing him into a neck hold. His head looked tiny enclosed in Bucky's metal arm.

Bucky roared in pain as the claws puncture his torso. His grip loosened and the man escaped out of breath but very much alive.

Bucky hunched over in pain.

Claws out, he was heading in for his final blow. I could not watch this, I could not let this happen.

"NO!"

For a second I felt nothing at all and then the pain seared through my entire body. I curled up in pain on the ground. Blood oozed out of the torn skin on my torso. There was a salt and copper taste in my mouth when I coughed up red saliva.

"What the hell did you think you were doing, y/n" His blue eyes were piercing, clouded with worry, anger, frustration and what not. But it only made me smile and the aching ebbed.

"..saving..you.." I smiled before coughing up a storm.

"Idiot" he muttered and ripped up a piece of cloth from his shirt. He pressed it against the wound to plug the endless stream of blood.

"I could get used to this" I gave him a weak smile as black dots started dancing in front of my eyes.

The last thing I felt was my limp body being pulled into his lap and a warm kiss on my forehead.

* * *

"I'm sorry my hands are sweaty" I croaked.

"Hey, you're awake" Bucky smiled and brushed his thumb over my knuckles reassuringly.

"Wha..what happened" I tried getting into a sitting position only to double over in pain.

"Careful, y/n, you'll rip open the stitches," he said softly, helping me back down.

"Bad Kitty?" I asked.

Bucky chuckled. His eyes got all tiny and crinkly and I felt like running over and hugging him even if it meant ripping open these damn stitches.

"Steve took care of it. You really shouldn't have put yourself in between like that you could've gotten yourself killed today", he looked straight at me, there's not a hint of humour in his voice.

"You would've done the same for me...right?" I held his gaze.

"It was still stupid, okay!" He protested.

"And if you would've done it, it would've been brave...that's how it is isn't it" I huffed in annoyance.

"Can we not argue about this, y/n , please!" He squeezed my hand. "Just promise me you won't put yourself in danger like that ever again," he pleaded, his brows scrunching up.

I stayed silent shifting my gaze to the ceiling. His eyes would only make me give in. Ugh! Curse those blue eyes.

"I...I don't need saving ok! I don't know why you and Steve don't seem to understand that!" He ran his hands through his long black hair in frustration.

"Bucky..." I tried to move a little forward so that I could almost grab his hand.

He was quick to hold it and gently pushed me back. "Don't get-" He began.

"You are a good person, Bucky. I've known you for less than twenty-four hours and I'm still willing to risk my life for you...that has to count for something..."

"It does, it proves that you are really, really stupid" he chuckled. "Now get some rest," he said before exiting the room.

I wanted to protest but my brain decided for itself as the pain meds kicked in and I drifted off.

* * *

**_Bucky POV_ **

She always seemed to know just the right words to calm me down. It was funny how we had only known each other for half a day and she still seemed to read me better than anyone else.

Okay, probably only second to Steve.

Steve.

I had no clue how I was going to face him again.

I didn't know why I had pulled him out of the water. I didn't know how to explain to him, that I didn't know!

I had tried my best to regain my memories. I had tried to figure out why Steve meant so much to me.

The only thing I knew was that his mother's name was Sarah and he used to wear newspapers in his shoes. Not exactly the kind of information I was hoping for.

With everything happening my mind was on high alert. I could hear footsteps coming from down the hallway. I readied myself guarding the entrance to the make-shift infirmary.

"It's me, Buck"

Just the person I had been trying to avoid.

It looked like he had just showered. His hair was wet, free from blood. His shield was surprisingly not accompanying him. I relaxed sitting down on the metal chair in front of the door.

"How's she?" He asked sitting down next to me.

"Sleeping" I mumbled.

Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

Fortunately, he remained silent. I stared at the door intently, hoping he would just leave me alone.

"I'm just looking out for you, Buck. This girl-"

"Y/N" I interrupted him.

"...y/n, you can't trust her-" I fastened my grip on the chair to control myself.

"-she could very easily be a spy."

There was a loud clang of metal as the metal armrest was ripped off from its place.

_This isn't you. You don't want to hurt Steve. He's your friend._

There was another clang as the armrest dropped to the ground.

"She risked her life for me, Steve!" I ran my hand furiously through my hair.

"That could've been her plan all along! To gain our trust!" He argued.

"Why are you making this harder than it already is!" I shouted.

"Why is it easy for you to defend a stranger when you refuse to acknowledge our friendship?" His eyes were glassy as he shouted those words.

They hit me like a bullet to the heart. This was something that I had been thinking about when I was holding her hand in that stupid room.

"Because I don't want to disappoint you" My voice was almost a whisper.

"Disappoint me?" There was confusion written all over his face.

I couldn't blame him. I hadn't understood it either until this very moment.

"The Bucky you know... he's another man. A man I don't know and I've tried to find him but the truth is...the truth is I'm not him. I don't know what he would have done. I don't know the things he would have said and when I look at you I know you expect his words out of my mouth and his actions from my hands and that scares me. I don't want to ruin his memory for you..." I looked at him expecting a reply, a punch, anything really. "It's easier knowing that I haven't met her before. I don't have to constantly think about what he would have done. I can just be...myself."

In a way it made sense. This person with a metal arm, that was me now. Just the thought felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Steve said nothing in return. He simply turned around and strutted down the hallway, untraceable in the dark.

A frail body was leaning against the door.

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough," she said and ran her small fingers through my hair. Nobody had done that before, at least not from what I remember.

The gesture was oddly comforting and something I never thought I wanted until it had happened. Just like everything else since the moment I had met her.

"How are you feeling now," I asked as I helped her into the now armrest-less chair.

"Just a little drowsy but nothing some coffee can't fix" she grinned and I couldn't help but let out a little chuckle. I had been doing a lot of that too.

"Let's see what we can do about that" I smiled.

"They are going to interrogate you, you know that right," I asked her once I was back with the coffee.

"Yeah, Bucky I know that" She rolled her eyes at me.

"And there will most probably be a lie detector involved " I continued after taking a sip of my own cup of coffee. The familiarity of the bitter taste was somewhat comforting.

"And you are way too hot for a 100-year-old man"

"What?" I almost spat out my coffee in surprise.

"I thought we were just stating the obvious here" She smirked.

"Y/n, I'm serious" I try my best to keep a straight face.

"Look, fighting is not really my thing but, human behaviour that's right up my ally! " She said a bit too enthusiastically "I did my final year project on _'Lie Detectors and How to Evade Them'_ so don't you worry mister" she grinned certainly proud of her achievement.

I had a sharp reminder of just how young she was. She had her whole life ahead of her and look at the mess I had gotten her into because of my own selfish needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: The way Y/N thinks is actually how I think. Yes, I am very dorky.


	4. Chapter 4

_Berlin, 2016_

__

* * *

I woke up to the steady beeping of the cardiac monitor.

I looked around but the room was empty, not a single person in sight.

_Odd._

The interrogation was supposed to be conducted today and yet here I was all alone, still in the damn hospital bed. Something was definitely up.

The monitor blared a high pitched beep as I ripped apart the wires.

The door flew open as a nurse, along with two heavily armed men rush in. "Ma'am! Stop! You need to put that back on", she scolded.

"Get me out of here!" I screamed.

The guards flanked to my sides with their finger on the trigger as if to threaten me.

"Let me go" I snarled.

"Let her go"

The voice belonged to a blonde woman standing by the door.

The guards stepped back immediately, lowering their heads.

"What's going on? The interrogation...what happened.."

"The interrogation...that's what is going on" she cut me off.

I looked up at her confused.

"What..what do you mean? I'm still here..."

"Precisely, due to your injury, you couldn't qualify for the polygraph test..."

How did I manage to miss that? The pain and the medications, it would goof up the test, make it unreliable. They already had my statement but no way to prove it and they certainly weren't going to trust me! How did I mess this up! There was no way I could help Bucky now...

"Bucky..where's he?" I asked.

I already knew what the answer was.

"In questioning. And before you ask I can't take you there."

Questioning. There were multiple ways to do those.

"Cap? Can I speak to him?" I begged.

"Ma'am this is all the information I can provide you with right now. You need to rest, I'll be back once this is all over"

"No, no, no, you don't understand! I have to help him! He is not guilty! HE IS NOT GUILTY!"

She moved forward to attempt to calm me down. Just as I had expected. I surprised her by pushing her off balance. I ran out the door. My stitches ached but the pain just motivated me to run faster.

I had no idea where I was going until I stepped into a room full of people. I paused momentarily until my eyes found Steve. Guards stepped up when I attempted to move forward.

"Back off!" I glared at them.

The blonde woman stumbled in behind me just as Cap finally noticed the discord.

"Sharon, let her in" his voice was eerily calm.

"Where is he?" I asked as soon as I entered what looked like a conference room.

He looked up at a screen placed on the upper left corner of the room. My heart fell when I saw him strapped down like some an animal. He looked so broken, so lost, worse than the day we met.

"How could you let them treat him like that?" I took a shaky breath as I shoved Steve's shoulder weakly.

In my head, I knew he couldn't have stopped it and none of this would have happened if I had never been hurt but at that moment I just wanted somebody to blame. Somebody who wasn't me.

"(Y/N), there's noth..."

_"Do you know where you are, James? I can't help you if you don't talk to me, James."_

The voice was coming from the TV. The audio to the camera feed had been switched on.

Steve looked back at the blonde woman, Sharon, as if to thank her.

_"My name is Bucky."_

He sounded tired and annoyed.

"The man, who is he?" I asked Sharon.

"Theo Broussard, Swiss psychiatrist, he's going to be evaluating Mr.Barnes"

I nodded and returned my attention to the screen.

"Why would the Task Force release this photo, to begin with?" Steve asked, studying the blurry photograph of the man who bombed the congress in Vienna.

"Get the word out, involve as many eyes as we can?" Sharon answered.

"Right. It's a good way to flush a guy out of hiding. Set off a bomb, get your picture taken. Get seven billion people looking for the Winter Soldier," Steve scoffed.

"You're saying someone framed him to find him"

"We know someone framed him to find him. I was with him for god's sake. I know he didn't blow up that freaking building" I glared at her.

"Plus, if he had blown it up it would've turned a lot of heads. Sam and I have been looking for him for the past two years and found nothing.."

"You have?" Sharon and I asked at the same time.

Steve nodded. He looked guilty. Maybe because he blamed himself for not getting to Bucky sooner.

Whatever said and done, I felt for the guy. To wake up only to find out that everyone you once knew was dead and then to suddenly know that your best friend was alive. You do get your hopes up.

Steve must have left no stone unturned during his little search party for Bucky. Little did he know, Bucky never wanted to be found.

His past haunted him. He didn't know who he was anymore and Steve was just a living reminder of somebody he had once been.

"Yeah, but that doesn't guarantee that whoever framed him would get him. It guarantees that we would", Sharon interjected.

_"Tell me, Bucky. You've seen a great deal, haven't you?"_

_"I don't want to talk about it."_

_"You fear that... if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop..."_

"Guys...This isn't right. He isn't supposed to prod him like this. He's hurting him!" I argue.

The room was silent apart from the voice of the psychiatrist blaring through the TV.

"Cap! You've got to trust me! I've done an evaluation before and this is NOT how you do one"

"Sharon, she may be onto some..."

His voice trailed off as the lights suddenly flicker out.

"No!No!No! We're too late" I yelled distraughtly.

"Sub-level 5, east wing", Sharon reported.

Cap broke into a run, "Stay here" he looked back at me as he was about to leave.

"No! I'm coming with you"

"(Y/N), we don't have time for this. You're hurt, you need to stay here" he replied annoyed.

"I'm not going to just sit around here, do you understand that?!" I glared at him.

"Fine! Sharon, cover her," Steve huffed defeatedly.

The three of us ran to what must have been the east wing. I could feel the blood drying up on my shirt, courtesy of my now reopened stitches.

I tried to match Steve's pace but he was just too fast.

"You okay?" Sharon asked concerned.

I nodded and willed myself to move quickly.

We were greeted by a floor full of unconscious bodies.

"Help me. Help..."

It was hard to see as the red emergency lights kept flashing.

"There", I pointed to the heap of bodies near the chamber that once held Bucky.

Sharon picked up the man by his collar. It was the psychiatrist.

"Who are you? What do you want?" She asked angrily with her fist raised.

"To see an empire fall...."

She knocked him out before he could complete his sentence.

I searched his pockets hastily.

A bunch of keys, some cash but nothing that revealed his true identity.

"What's that? That book it must've fallen from his hand" Sharon pointed to a small red leather book lying on the ground. A black star was embellished on its cover.

I opened it. The writing was foreign, probably German.

"You need to lock him up before he wakes up." I shoved the book in my pocket.

"But..."

She was cut off by the sound of concrete cracking. Or more like Steve crashing into the wall. Steve managed to regain his footing and landed a punch which Bucky barely felt. Bucky replied with a kick and a punch that threw Steve out of the chamber. Steve blocked the next one but the power of Bucky's fist sent Steve tumbling into the darkened elevator shaft.

"Steve! Bucky, please just stop!" I screamed impulsively.

"(Y/N)! Don't he's dangerous" Sharon warned.

I had already caught his attention. He was heading towards me.

"Sharon you need to leave, now!"

His pace quickened and so did my heartbeat.

"But you can't..."

"Run!" I shouted.

From the corner of my eye, I saw her bolt, dragging the unconscious imposter behind. Before I could let out a sigh of relief, metal hands wrapped around my neck and lifted me off my feet.

"Bucky...this...isn't...you," I croaked. "Listen...to...my...voice, Buck, please"

Tears trickled down my cheeks as I looked into his eyes, but those eyes, they didn't belong to the same person, at least not right now.

"You're...hurting me" I could feel my lungs gasping for air. I could barely speak anymore.

Without a thought, my hands found their way to his face, shakily. The touch was gentle, loving, something he had long forgotten and it confused him. His grasp loosened and for a fraction of a second, I saw the real Bucky, the Bucky I had grown fond of, so very quickly.

"Fight..it" I persuaded him.

Suddenly a chunk of metal clashed against his head knocking him out.

Both of us fell to the ground. I gasped desperately for air.

"You alright?"

It was Cap.

I nodded rubbing my neck.

"Come on up, we need to restrain him"

_How was he so damn calm?_

_Didn't it hurt him as much as it hurt me to see Bucky like this? Didn't it kill him to know that at this moment his dearest friend was alone and helpless?_

If what had just happened was any proof, I was sure that somewhere deep down the Bucky that we both loved was fighting back and we were going to help him fight that battle.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the end.

_ Berlin, 2016 _

* * *

"I'm going to ask you again, who the hell are you and who do you work for?"

There was no answer... again.

Steve groaned and nodded looking at Nat.

"Now I don't know if you know me, but I'll have you know you've just made this a whole lot more painful"

Steve took that as his cue to leave the room.

"Any luck?" I asked as soon as Steve entered the room.

I was sitting with Sharon and Sam trying to figure out what was written in the notebook that we had found on him.

"Nada, you?" he sounded exhausted, making me wonder when was the last time he had a good nights sleep.

"Ok, so we think this is some sort of H.Y.D.R.A manual written solely in German but we can't seem to figure out what it's for" I sighed.

 **"** We did translate what we guess are commands," Sharon said. "Longing, Rusted, Seventeen, Daybreak, Furnace, Nine, Benign, Homecoming, One, Freight..." She continued. "Steve, do any of these words mean something to you? You are the only one who has known Barnes before H.Y.D.R.A got hold of him," she said at last.

Sam stole a glance at me as if to check on me.

I offered him a weak smile.

"I...I don't know..."

You could see all of this was really hard for him. For God's sake, the man looked like he had seen a ghost!

"Steve, this might help Bucky. Please just try..." I tried to persuade him.

Steve sighed defeatedly and sat down. He grabbed the pieces of paper in front of me.

"Longing... it could point to how both of us feel being alive in this century. We shouldn't be here and deep down I don't think we want to be here"

The rest of us sat there shell shocked, not having realised just how different things must have been for them. They left a time of war just to be woken up to yet another time of war but this time there were no familiar faces. No friends, no family, only strangers.

"Seventeen, Buck is a year elder than me, 1917, his..his birth year" Steve smiled nostalgically.

I could almost imagine all the jokes they must have shared. Just two little boys from Brooklyn.

"Freight" He was referring to the last word on the paper. "Bucky fell from a freight train. I..I couldn't save him." He put the paper pieces back on the table. "He saved me but I couldn't save him. Everything that has happened after that is all my fault" He looked down shaking his head.

Sharon squeezed Steve's hand, "Steve...' 

"I..I think I'm going to go check on Buck" He got up.

"I'll join you," Sam said.

"I hate seeing him like this...so vulnerable," Sharon said softly once they left.

"Me too. From what I have gathered, everyone here depends on him. It's wrong to always expect him to stay strong. I'm glad he's got you" I smiled.

"Okay, ladies, here is all the information I could get out of that bastard and our friends over at intelligence were nice enough to provide some supplementary information" Natalia entered placing a file full of printed pages in front of us.

" _Col. Helmut Zemo, former intelligence officer and commander of the elite Sokovian paramilitary tactical unit EKO Scorpion._ " I read the first line out loud. "Sokovia, as in where you fought Ultron?" I asked.

"Yep. His family died in the Battle of Sokovia and well, he blames us for it and he is hungry for revenge"

Was that guilt in her voice?

"But I still don't understand, why would he want to activate the Winter Soldier?"

"You really are new to this aren't you? So innocent, it's almost endearing" She scoffed

"He's credited for over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years. Years ago I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran, somebody shot at my tires near Odessa. We lost control, went straight over a cliff, I pulled us out, but the Winter Soldier was there. I was covering my engineer, so he shot him straight through me."

There was pin-drop silence in the room.

"The Winter Soldier is not the same person as your boyfriend, little girl"

"He's not my boyf-"

"Save it." She interrupted.

"So, he wanted the Winter Soldier to drive a wedge between the Avengers? Break up the team." Sharon enquired.

"Precisely," Natasha said sitting down with her legs up on the table.

"So he knew Barnes was the soldier and that Steve and Barnes were friends?"

"It is a possibility, Agent 13, but I think it's something else. Something much bigger. He kept talking about 'Mission Report December 16th, 1991', you would know if you read the file"

My mind raced back to the day Bucky and I first met, when I found that newspaper article and he admitted that he- the Winter Soldier assassinated Howard and Maria Stark.

The date was etched in bold in my memory, **December 16th, 1991** and if Tony Stark ever heard about this he wouldn't waste any time linking the two together either.

This was Zemo's master plan all along. This was the fall of the empire he wanted. The Avengers divided.

I had to put an end to this.

 **"** It says here that he confessed about the bombing. So Bucky is in the green?" I asked.

"That is not how I would word it. You've got to understand if the last few hours are any proof, we know that the Winter Soldier is still very much a part of Sgt. Barnes whether we like it or not. Agent Ross would be a fool to let him loose and Everett Ross is a lot of things but a fool he is not."

"What if I can fix him, somehow..."

"You could try but King T'Challa has offered to take him to Wakanda along with the criminal. He says that they have the technology to reverse what H.Y.D.R.A has done to him"

"This is the footage that tech found On Zemo's laptop in his hotel room, it might help you out" She handed over a pen drive as she stood up to leave.

Sharon quickly inserted the pen drive and clicked on the only video file on it.

There was a man in a military uniform in what looked like a cell. Then my eyes fell on him...

Bucky was strapped to the chair like a prisoner. His face was expressionless like a body without a soul. 

**_"Zhelaniye. Rzhavyy."_ **

The man was reciting the commands from the book. Immediately I could see the sense of hopelessness start to sink into Bucky's eyes. Like he realised he was about to be turned into a monster on strings.

**_"Semnadtsat'."_ **

The third word. I watched as Bucky tried to rid himself of the constraints. He shut his eyes as if to prevent himself from listening to the commands. All hell broke loose on the next word.

**_"Rassvet."_ **

This seemed to be the most painful trigger word for him. His entire mouth was trembling, his face twisting into a grimace. It looked like Bucky was trying with everything he had left to hold onto his soul.

**_"Pech'."_ **

With the fifth word, The Winter Solider surfaced. I noticed the last ounce of effort Bucky put into trying to stay himself, to no avail. He tried resisting it, right until the very last moment. Even when he knew there was nothing he could do he was trying to fight it.

**_"Devyat."_ **

Six words. It took six words to erase the conscience mind of Bucky Barnes. I forced myself to look at the screen again.

**_"Dobroserdechnyy."_ **

My heart broke into pieces as I watched the man in the chair slowly become a blank slate, who was ready for the last word before turning into a weapon. He didn't struggle anymore. His hands were not trying to break free. He was relaxed as if he knew this is where he belonged. His home.

**_"Vozvrashcheniye na rodin."_ **

This seemed to be the ultimate trigger that pushed him to the surface. He struggled again, momentarily. His mind might have been blank, but his body was giving its all not to become the vicious, dangerous person. His head twitched but his eyes remained vacant. There was just one last piece of a human mind trying not to give into the torture. It was ironically fitting that this word which translated to homecoming was what brought the soldier fully to the surface.

**_"Odin."_ **

He was long gone. Any shaking and trembling had stopped and his breathing had slowed. The weapon they wanted to create was born. Ready to be moulded into whatever shape Hydra wanted at the time. They owned him.

I fought back the urge to punch the screen.

**_"Gruzovoy vagon."_ **

The words attached to his death. Freight. Symbolising the death of Bucky Barnes, a friend, a brother, a loved one, and the birth of a weapon. Every emotion, memory, sense of self-awareness was now buried deep down. The Winter Soldier was ready for orders as he looked up at the man in the uniform. Ready to comply.

**_"Dobryy utrenniy, soldat." "Gotovy soblyudat.'"_ **

The video ended.

I covered my face with my trembling hands in a weak attempt to calm myself.

Those screams. His screams were the fabric of nightmares, surrounding dark horror.

The sound was still echoing in my ears, shaking me to my core. It was probably why my entire body was quivering. My stomach had fallen to my feet and my heart was clenching so hard it hurt.

It was like I could almost feel his pain, his terror but I'd be a fool to think that. What he went through was a whole lot worse and I couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have felt like.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Sharon stood beside me, her hand gently patted my back.

"They tortured him...They were cruel, absolutely cruel. I have never seen anything remotely like this."

Tears streamed down my face.

"Sharon...I..I don't know how he survived all of it alone. I don't know if I can make him forget the suffering. I don't know how I can help him. Hell! I don't even know if I can help him "

"Shhhh... it's okay y/n. You tried to help him. You were there for him, just like Steve. That should count for something " she held me close. "Now you better wipe those tears before you go see him" she smiled.  
  


* * *

I waited outside the door nervously. I couldn't get myself to face him after what I had seen. How was I supposed to tell him that there is absolutely nothing I could do to help him. I felt so helpless.

Just then the door opened suddenly, making me jump.

"Y/N! I was just coming to get you"

It was Sam.

I smile as he held the door open for me before he left.

Bucky was sitting upright on the hospital bed, with his feet dangling. He was facing Steve who was sat on a stool beside the bed.

In all white, Buck looked like an angel sent from above.

Bucky refused to meet my eye and the silence in the room was killing me.

"So Zemo confessed..." I finally said.

"That..that's great news, isn't it Buck?"

"Steve can you..um..give us a minute?"

His voice was strained.

"Buck-"

Steve and I said at the same time. Bucky looked at Steve as if he was conversing with him wordlessly. Steve left the room quietly.

I looked down chewing on the inside of my cheek as silence fell upon us again.

"Y/N I can't tell you how sorry I am"

I looked up at him shocked. He was sorry for what?

"I..I don't understand. What are you apologising for?"

"Y/N I hurt you.. when he turned me.." his voice was soft and gentle.

"It isn't your fault. You weren't yourself, Buck. Besides, you didn't hurt me. You stopped yourself. You were in control."

"Y/N, if Steve hadn't been there you might not have been here, right now, breathing and even the thought of what could have happened, what I am capable of is a clear sign that I can't be around you..."

The last few words were almost a whisper.

"Buck-" I stepped forward.

"Y/N, don't!" his eyes were gleaming, "I'm too dangerous. I can't live with myself knowing that I'm like some ticking bomb threatening to explode any minute. The thought of being the cause of the death of the ones I love... It's to great a cost to keep living..It isn't worth it, I'm not worth it..."

Now I was crying too.

"Stop it! Stop saying that" I shoved him out of frustration, startling him.

I kept punching him angrily until I gave up and slumped against his chest.

His metal arm wrapped around me carefully. The movement was gentle, controlled. His other hand ran through my hair. I could feel his wet tears against my cheek as I cried into his chest, his beating heart was the only sound in my head.

"I..I can come with you to Wakanda" I sniffled pulling away.

"Don't be ridiculous! You can't put your life on hold for me. I don't know even how long they'll take to fix me, it could take years, Y/N"

There was no point in arguing with him. He was as stubborn as I was.

"Then we'll talk on the phone, they have that in Wakanda, right? Or we could always write..." I started rambling.

"Y/N, y/n, look at me!" He put his hands on my shoulders .

"I've already talked to Steve, I hope you will understand too," his hands slipped down my shoulders only to take my hands in his.

"Till they figure out how to fix this, I'm going back under..."

He searched my eyes for some sort of reaction but I didn't know how I felt.

Hurt? Yes.

Angry? Definitely.

Awful? More than anything else.

"Ste..Steve agreed to this?" I croaked.

"After some convincing, yes"

I looked down dejectedly.

"Look, love.."

He had never called me that. It made my heartbeat spike.

"...I can't trust my own mind, currently. So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head I think going back under is the best thing...for everybody." He smiled caressing my cheek, lightly.

"If that's what you want, I...I understand"

As soon as the words escaped my mouth, his lips crashed against mine desperately. There was a hint of longing and a deep sadness as he continued to plant small pecks down my neck.

I giggled as the wet pecks tickled my neck. I swiftly brought his lips to mine again.

"If we continue this, I might have to change my mind" he laughed.

"Then don't stop" I pulled him close again.

"Y/N ...." he hesitated.

"What? It was worth a try" I smirked.

He smiled again. I think this was the most he had smiled in forever. The thought that at least one good thing had come out of this entire mess was my only solace.

"Come back to me soon. I'll be waiting" I whispered planting a final kiss on his forehead.

* * *

It was finally time.

Bucky was strapped to the bed inside the cylindrical chamber. A glass covering was all set to be drawn closed once the machine was switched on.

Steve, T'Challa and I were the only other people in the room.

"Ready Buck?" Steve asked.

"You bet"

Tears welled up again, threatening to open the flood gates. I was trying extremely hard to keep the dam intact.

"...just one thing," Buck said abruptly just as T'Challa was about to press the button.

All of us looked at him concerned.

"Do you, (Y/N) (Y/LN),"

 _What the hell was he doing?_ I bit my lips nervously waiting for his next words.

"promise to marathon all the movies that Steve and I missed, once I come back to you?"

I stared at him. That son of a... I almost had a heart attack.

Steve laughed heartily.

"I do", I smiled. I had to physically stop myself from kissing him again.

The machine whirred to life and Bucky drifted off to sleep.

I stood there for some time. His face looked so peaceful and angelic.

"You alright?" Steve asked placing his hand on my back.

"Steve, we need to talk..."

His posture immediately straightened as if he was preparing himself to be bombarded by some more bad news.

Unfortunately, he was.

"Mission Report December 16th, 1991."

His eyes widened.

I looked around making sure there were no ears around, "It's about Howard Stark's death. Tony Stark can never find out what really happened that night. Any footage of that incident has to be destroyed."

"I...I can't do that. He trusts me, Y/N. I can't betray him like this." Steve argued.

"If you do this, if you tell Tony, he will come after Bucky. The choice is yours." I warned him.

"Y/N..." he said as I turned to leave.

"Yes?"

"Thanks for letting me make my own decision, I appreciate it," he stated earnestly.

"You're welcome but I'll have you know that irrespective of the decision you make, I'll do everything I possibly can to make sure Bucky remains safe"

"Me too" he smiled. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have recently shifted from Wattpad and will be posting chapters from my Bucky One Shots and Imagines book. Will continue to post let me know how often you would want me to post.


End file.
